


sympathy for the devil

by Apples_for_fandoms



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Deceit should have a redemption dammit, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders is Anxiety | Virgil Sanders' Parent, Sad, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Thomas Sanders References, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, deceit's side of the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-06 00:43:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21217745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apples_for_fandoms/pseuds/Apples_for_fandoms
Summary: Deceit remembers the times with Virgil and why he left.  Also, sort of talks about the abusive relationship he was in with Patton.





	sympathy for the devil

**Author's Note:**

> I AM NOT SHIPPING VIRGIL AND DECEIT I know it sounds like that but they have a parent and child relationship. I DON'T SHIP THEM. Also I couldn't fit this into the plot anywhere but, I have this theory that Deceit's real name is Ethan. Idk

It was always quiet. Suffocatingly quiet. Deceit sat on the floor knees to his chest against the end of his bed listening to the emptiness, sitting in his sadness and memories. He didn’t blame Virgil for leaving he just wished that he was given a chance to redeem himself. Deceit was the oldest of the dark sides. Virgil appeared when Thomas was in middle school and Remus appeared around the mid twenties, but Deceit had been there since Thomas was almost three. It had been just him and Patton for a few years before Logan and Roman came along when Thomas was seven years old. That was when the others rejected Deceit. The others saw Patton as sweet and caring, someone who would never raise their voice or say a rude thing so they listened to Patton when he told them Deceit had to be villainized. Deceit was the only one to truly know Morality though. In the years before the others had been characterized Patton had shown a different face, screaming and manipulative, Deceit truly believed he was the only side Patton had every truly hated. When he was exiled he was almost grateful. 

Deceit looked over at the mirror on his wall and stared at the horrific snake features on the left side of his face. They had appeared shortly after he was exiled. It was then he felt truly alone, and knew he wasn’t just rejected by Patton, but by Thomas. It was lonely, yes, but he didn’t have to face Patton. And that made it almost worth it; Patton cared so much about Thomas, if he ever thought you were doing something to hurt Thomas he became . . . different. He was terrifying. So when Anxiety was characterized Deceit immediately took him under his wing. As soon as he saw what Virgil did to Thomas he knew Patton would never understand that he was just trying to help, and just observing how unstable he was Deceit knew the boy wouldn’t be able to handle Patton at his worst. Deceit turned away from the mirror, he didn’t want to see his face anymore. The only thing that had kept Deceit hopeful was Virgil. When Remus came he was a lot, but nothing Virgil and Deceit couldn’t deal with together. Or so he thought. Remus hurt Virgil more than Deceit comprehended. Virgil had come to him one night, eyes red from crying and fell into Deceit’s arms

“Please” Virgil cried into Deceit's shoulder “Please get rid of him, exile him somewhere” Deceit rested his chin on Virgil’s head  
“I’m so sorry Virgil” a tear snaked in between the scales on his cheek “I won’t do that”  
“You said you’d protect me” Virgil’s voice was so full of emotion and pain it hit Deceit like a punch, Deceit wanted to break down crying right then, but he knew he had to stay strong for Virgil, so he took a deep breath and imagined a wall blocking the tears and holding all emotion back. He steadied his voice.  
“I said I would protect you, and I will, but I won’t show Remus the cruelty that the others showed me.” he stroked Anxiety’s head “remember” he said softly “breathe in for four seconds” he paused to do it with Virgil “hold your breath for seven seconds” they sat in silence for seven seconds “alright good breathe out for eight seconds, good keep it up” after a few minutes Deceit pushed Virgil off his chest gently so that he could look into his eyes “Virgil, you are so strong, and I do believe you can get through this” Virgil looked like he was going to say something in protest but Deceit cut him off “BUT, I won’t ask that of you. Like I said, you’re strong so . . if you want to try the other side I think you would be less affected by Remus.” Virgil looked even more broken when he said that  
“You don’t want me here anymore” he said in a quiet voice. Virgil’s eyes started to brim with tears “you want to get rid of me” Deceit’s heart broke seeing Virgil so upset. He mentally added another brick to the wall.  
“No” he said firmly tears fighting to be free “life would be trash without you, and with Remus around that is a literal statement. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you, but if this will make you better I’m willing to make that sacrifice. Virgil look at me” he looked into his eyes. “Go, you are welcome anytime. Infact, please come back but only if you feel it won’t hurt you too bad” Virgil stared into Deceits eyes for a few more seconds, contemplating, before hugging him tight.  
“Okay” He said “Okay Dee I will”

Deceit studied his reflection in his mirror. He traced his fingers over the bumps thinking of how when Virgil was younger he would run his fingers over his scales and say he was reading what it said in brail  
“It says . . .” he had said eyes screwed shut in mock concentration “you are my favorite snake and are very so pretty” then opened his eyes and smiled really big. Deceit smiled sadly at his reflection thinking of little Virgil in his oversized hoodie and black circles under his eyes. He wondered if those would disappear or if he was always marked as a dark. Deceit’s smile dropped as he remembered the day Virgil came back from the light side. Another brick to the wall. More silence. Deceit had been so excited to see Virgil standing in his room he wanted to leap up from his bed and hug him, but he didn’t want to overwhelm Virgil so he rolled over and smiled making room on his bed for him to sit.  
“how do you feel Virgil?” Virgil didn’t move to sit, he just glared at him.  
“You lied to me” Deceit sat up and frowned  
“What are you talking about Virgil”  
“Don’t use my name. I just came to say goodbye” Deceit felt his heart drop. Another brick.  
“Virgil-I mean, anxiety I really don’t know why you’re upset maybe we can talk about it”  
“No” Virgil cut him off “you’ll just keep lying to me” virgil’s eyes were glistening with tears. Deceit was worried, he had seen Virgil upset before but never at him. Deceit felt a knot in his throat and he fought back tears. Another brick to the wall.  
“Please- I” Deceit couldn’t say anything else as he choked back his emotions. Virgil hesitated  
“Do you really not know?” he said quietly  
“No!” Deceit cried desperately Virgil’s face hardened again  
“You’re just manipulating me. I should’ve known. Patton told me how much you lie and manipulate.” A fire seemed to light in Deceit’s stomach. He had hated Patton villainizing him and mocking him, but had always understood that Patton thought he was doing the best for Thomas, but turning his only friend against him was worse  
“Virgil let’s just talk about thi-”  
“I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE MY NAME” Deceit stared at Virgil. He had never heard him raise his voice, not even at Remus. “Goodbye Deceit” and then Deceit was alone with silence and a wall close to breaking.

Deceit continued to stare at the tear-streaked face in his mirror. He hated that face. The face that told Virgil to go to the light side, the face that drove Virgil away. He drew back his fist  
“STUPID!” he screamed and slammed his fist into the mirror shattering the mirror and the silence around him.  
“STUPID!” he slammed his fist into it again and again until he collapsed into sobs on the floor. “Why are you so stupid” he sobbed. He heard the sound of someone appearing in the other room and he leaped up. Deceit couldn’t let Remus see him like this or he’d never hear the end of it. With the steadiest voice he could manage he yelled into the other room “Leave me alone Remus, I can’t deal with your shit right now” there was more silence for a moment  
“Actually Dee” a soft voice came from the living room “it’s me” Deceit almost fell over himself running to the other room. Sure enough it was Virgil, but he was wearing a new jacket with patches of purple all over it. Virgil was holding something in his hand.  
“You came back” Deceit smiled. Virgil continued looking at the ground  
“Not for good” he muttered “I just-” he glanced to the side then back at the ground Deceit felt he should say something  
“You got a new jacket” he remarked. Virgil laughed sadly  
“Yeah, uh actually that’s what this is about, kind of, well-” he shoved the black wad of cloth that was in his hand at Deceit.  
“That’s your old hoodie” he said as he realized what it was. Virgil continued looking at the ground and slowly nodded  
“I thought you should, you know” Virgil said to the ground. Deceit smiled. He had forgotten how much he loved Virgil and he reached to take the hoodie. But he was stopped by Virgil’s gasp  
“Oh my gosh Dee” he dropped the jacket and grabbed Deceits bloody hand. Deceit hadn’t realized he had reached with the same hand he had used to bash the mirror with. Virgil stared at the deep gashes on his fist and his voice was cold when he spoke  
“Did Remus do this?” Deceit tried to pull his hand back  
“No” he said. Virgil didn’t let go and he looked up into Deceit’s eyes  
“Dee have you been crying?” he exclaimed in shock. Deceit opened his mouth to lie and reached for another brick, but nothing came out. So he just let the wall fall down. He dropped to the ground and let the tears loose.  
“I’m so sorry Virgil” Deceit covered his face with his hands. He didn’t want Virgil to see him like this. “I tried so hard to be strong” he stopped to breathe “but I can’t” his voice cracked and he fell into sobs again. Virgil stood in shock for a few moments then slowly sat next to Deceit and hugged him.  
“Remember” he whispered “breathe in for four seconds” Deceit tried but he sobs kept stopping him “shh” Virgil said soothingly. He rubbed Deceit’s back “I know it’s hard just let it out” so deceit just cried and cried and Virgil stayed there hugging him. After a while and Deceit had stopped crying Virgil stood up.  
“Where are you going?” Deceit asked. Virgil looked down at Deceit and took a deep breathe.  
"Thank you so much for taking care of me. I don't regret any of our time together but . . ." his gaze shifted to the side, the way it did when he didn't want to say something. Deceit wondered if Patton noticed these things about Virgil like he did. "it's just" he continued "it's not healthy for me. Being around Remus, I need to take care of myself. And the others taught me to do that." Deceit stared at the ground  
"you're saying you don't need me" he said. Virgil was quiet for a moment  
"I guess" he answered. Deceit looked up at Virgil  
"Please, I just want it to go back to how it was I-" he felt himself start to cry again, but he didn't try to stop it this time. He was done pushing his emotions away for Virgil. His voice broke "I just want my family back" Virgil turned away  
"I'm sorry" and disappeared. Deceit clutched the Hoodie close to his chest, but he didn't cry. He felt hollow. He would get Virgil back. Some way or another. He would get his friend back.


End file.
